Wednesday 30 November 2011

a new month begins.

The last month of this year brings hope in my case. Hope that we have one more month to fulfill all of our unfulfilled desires for this year. My company does not work the last week of December because of the festivities and this is another reason I love December.

The whole of december, I plan to work out - do some form of exercise or the other. I plan to start the new year with a weight of 65 kg. This is attainable and I know I can achieve this with well-planned diet and exercise. I would have to lose 4-5 kgs to achieve this weight goal, and I believe it can be done.

I really need to lose weight and make exercise a priority in my life. Too many half-hearted beginnings, followed by giving up too many times, expecting results too soon is the reason why I am at my current weight of 70-71kgs.

Hoping this is the month that shall bring about this change in 2011.  

Tuesday 29 November 2011

popping the bubble

This is a hard post for me to write. I wish I did not have to share this. But then, I promised a slice of my life, and as much as I don't wish this to be a part of my life, it is. I have fertility issues. I guess it is not so shocking to most of you. Considering that I am just 26, most of you would say it is not such a big deal as I have age on my side. But unfortunately, I have already been operated on for large endometric cysts on both ovaries, plus my ovaries showed PCOS last year. I am currently taking fertility meds and HCG injection. I am hoping all the meds taken this month should somehow help my conception. I should have checked my HCG home pregnancy test on 3rd Dec 2011 as that would be the day of my missed period. But then, I couldn't help myself and I tested yesterday..  It was followed by huge amounts of disappointment and sorrow and depression and weeping and finally acceptance.

Acceptance that I had tested early. Acceptance that pregnancy takes time. Acceptance that I have a condition that can be treated. Acceptance that the condition I have does not in any way make me feel like I am "lacking" as a female just because I cannot have kids without medical treatement. Acceptance that if this does not work, there are other options possible to have a kid in my life. Acceptance that I need to wait for a year of trying to have a kid before coming to the conclusion that all is lost. Acceptance that I need to be patient, and secure in my belief that I will be a mom to a baby one day.

Acceptance is what I am holding on to today.  

BFN today!

I tested 13DPO. And I got a BFN. I am hoping I tested way too early for the test to be accurate. Fingers crossed! I want this really really badly!

Monday 28 November 2011

An act of patience

Yesterday evening, after I got home from work, I went to the terrace to get the dry clothes in ( I line dry my clothes). Unfortunately, my maid had washed my husband's t-shirt (with white and blue stripes) along with an orange washcloth that gives out its lovely orange color, thus resulting the t-shirt to have splashes of orange all over.

I wish I could tell you that this is the first time that this has ever happened. But my maid is quite irresponsible in this situation, and this is my husband's fourth shirt that has been spoilt in this fashion. I was almost in tears when I saw this, so my father-in-law suggested that I should just try some lime juice and Rin soap and soak it for half an hour. I did. No change.

When my husband came to know about it, he got upset as I expected. But looking at my face which should have shown an equal amount of despair, he suggested that I not yell at my maid, but explain it to her that this was not acceptable any more.

This morning, when she came around, I showed it to her stating that since this is the fourth time she has been caught with the same error, and I was really disappointed. I did not raise my voice like the previous times. I was firm, but polite, and I somehow think I drove the point across. Because I did not yell , the maid looked at my face and said to me "Madam, I am disappointed too that this has happened, I will be more careful", and I realized that she was remorseful and she did not get defensive.

And it was a lesson in patience for me. I had last night to think about this. I really like my maid, she is efficient in her duties and loyal. So I knew that I did not want to make her feel defensive by yelling at her as I have done in the past, everyone makes mistakes after all. Now I just need to remember this every time I get angry and pissed off with someone as things can be resolved in a calm, patient manner as long as I am firm, but polite when I put my point across :)

Lesson Learnt!

Sunday 27 November 2011

Goals.

I know that New Year Resolutions are somethings that need to be done at the beginning of each year. I am not a huge fan of that. I believe that as individuals we really need to have goals at all times. With that mindset, I have set goals in the middle of some month to keep my house cleaner/make my bed first thing in the morning. Ever since that date, my bed / house has been cleaner than before. I do not remember the date when I fixed that goal in mind, but I do know that inspiration stuck one fine day to have a cleaner place and I have stuck to that since then... So with the year-end of 2011 round the corner ( one month remaining of course...), I decided that I would set some goals for the next year and add/delete goals as and when I accomplish some of them

Here they are :

1. To open a new RD in January : this has a time based goal of January 2012 because by then, we would have been done with our North India tour and we have already finished our tax investments for this financial year, thus the remaining money I have in my emergency fund can be put into an FD/RD that we are hoping to start as a new emergency fund for the whole year. Last year I had saved 3L with an RD, this year I am hoping to at least save 3L if not more.

2. To save Rs.50000/- for childbirth : My husband and I are going to try for a baby the next year. If we cannot afford the child-birth costs, apart from the child-rearing costs, we both have no business getting pregnant. We have both spoken to our medical representatives with our medical insurance as well as the place I work. We have met with a gynaecologist that I am comfortable with. She is in mid-60s in age and has delivered more than 500 babies in her 35 year career as an obstetrician and gynaecologist. She is an old-fashioned lady well-versed in the latest technologies and medicines available but one that still prefers a natural birth over C-section. The husband and I are extremely comfortable with her, and we are waiting for nature to tell us when we are going to be parents! Blow baby dust my way, will you!!

3. To increase emergency fund from 4L to 7L next year : This year we had to pay off two of our existing loans, this is because my husband and I believe that now that we are loan-free, and all of our income goes into our retirement accounts, savings etc. we are now in a position to be able to afford nothing but the best for our kids in the future. This year, in spite of all of our loan payments, and after all of our retirement savings, tax payments etc. we were able to have 4L in our emergency fund. Next year, we hope to increase the emergency fund amount to 7L :)

4. To become fit :  This was a new year resolution of 2006,2007,2008,2009,2010, and 2011. Unfortunately this will be a resolution this year as well. I wish I could tell you that I am fit and healthy. But I am not. I have made drastic changes to my lifestyle over the course of these years but I am still 5kgs overweight and if I plan on having a healthy diet, I need to reduce my weight sooner and do something about it. I hope to not have this in my list next year. This year should be my last year where weight becomes a mandated item in list of goals.

5. To Blog : Already Started :)

6. To travel to Dubai / Singapore-Malaysia next year end : Need to budget 1.5L for that. Mostly, would take out of my estimated 7L Emergency Fund.

So at least I am happy that I have listed this online in a public forum and every month I can contribute to how I have been performing towards these goals.





Family triumphs money

Yesterday was one of those weekends that was spent with extended family and it reiterates my belief that having a great family beats having more money,but staying alone.

We went to my husband's cousin's baby shower in the morning. Personally, I am not a huge fan of a grand baby shower. When I do get pregnant, I plan to host a baby shower too, but it would be an informal, intimate family function with a maximum of 50 people comprising of the first circle of families on my side and my husband's. But this function was elaborate. They had booked a huge party hall, decorated it with pink and blue balloons(they do not know yet whether they are going to have a boy/girl), there was a huge cake, tiara, sash, jewellery presents from the parents of the expecting mother, sari presents from the inlaws followed by a grand lunch fit for any wedding (they served chiroti :) )

Fortunately for us, when my husband and I went to this shower, we casually mentioned that we would be flying to Delhi this year end, and his cousin (the host of this baby shower) volunteered to give us his house key during that time as he would be here in our city for the delivery of his child. That means we would save around 7000/- that we are currently spending on a hotel. Plus, it is going to somebody's home, which means we have access to a kitchen so we can save some money on food as well :) This was something that we did not expect , the husband and I are still deciding whether or not to accept this generous offer from his cousin.

On another note, last evening we hosted a casual dinner party to my aunt's (my mom's elder sister's) family. I get along really great with my aunt's family and so it was a fun night. I have a cook, she had cooked a great spread and we had a great time. Cooking at home is always cheaper than eating out. There were eight of us altogether and I spent around Rs. 150/-  for vegetables and 100/- for some cashew-pakoda used as garnish. This was all the money that we spent. My mother-in-law took care of the dessert section with gulab jamon and mouth-watering payasam that everyone went back for thirds. We prepared some methi paratas, some mixed-veggies saagu, vangibath, tambuli, rasam, rice and mixed-curd rice. We have loads leftovers that can be used for today. The entire evening cost almost nothing, which is my favorite kind of evening well-spent plus of course we had an enjoyable time.

This makes me feel really happy, because I am in a place in my life where in I am at peace with my own life, with my family, with my inlaws, with my extended family and friends. I was not always like this. So I m blessed.

Saturday 26 November 2011

Year end trip planned

The husband and I have a yearly tradition to plan a trip every year end to celebrate the hard work done the year around. This year we decided to travel to North India while we live in South India.. So the flight costs are pretty huge esp. because it is the year end and all the fares go up at this point. My husband has been to the places we are going to visit but this will be a first time for me to ever step out of south India :) plus I am going to see the Taj Mahal :) can this holiday get any better !

Because we are middle class indians , and because we love a better fare deal if we can manage it, we decided we would book our flight tickets via a travel agency. We checked out the prices in makemytrip.com and yatra.com , compared those prices and then headed to the travel agency near our home. My husband is great at trying to get a bargain deal out of everything :) so with his persuation we were able to get a cool discount and we got our tickets..

Next thing to do was to plan our trip once we reach Delhi. We got some discounts via Southern Travels for our tours as well as hotel booking as we decided to everything with them. However we want to go on a particular 2N/1D package that Southern did not have via bus (it was already booked to the full) the price of which is 2900/- per head for the package. However, the alternative would be to go by car for just the two of us costing us 14000/- total. That is a huge waste of money... Thankfully, my husband found another travel agency Panickers Travels having the same package on the days we wanted for the same price of 2900/- per head :) and we booked it just in time.

Now all that is pending is packing for the trip. This trip is something that we have been planning all year for in terms of finances, so this is something that would not cost a huge hole in our pockets as we have planned for this. Things are going as per plan in terms of finances so far

Cost of the trip so far :

Tickets to and fro : 20000/-
Hotel for 5 days : 7000/-
Trip Package Cost : 6000/-

We had estimated the trip to cost us around 40000/- including the shopping for gifts when we reach there, so far things are looking good :)

Plus, another thing I wanted to mention is that, yesterday afternoon we called our insurance agent and got ourselves Demat Accounts. We have already completed our tax investments for this year. Only thing pending is some infrastructure bonds , but for this we both needed Demat account. So we are in a good place right now in terms of where we stand with respect to our finances :)

Love,
MCB

...the weekend begins

Let me start by stating that I am happily married to K, living in a cosmopolitan city. My husband and I both work for the software IT industry. We both believe in the spirit of the Millionaire Next Door. We feel, that if we were to save most of what we earn and at the same time maintain a semblance of work-life balance, concentrate on our personal life as much as our professional's : we would both be happier in the long run.

Today, we got up around 7, had dosas with chutney powder for breakfast because I had run out of coriander leaves essential to make chutney, and headed out to the local bus stand. K is appearing for an interview with a huge MNC one of the Big 4's in hope of a job change that would bring him a huge promotion and salary hike. Both of us are trying for a child and if I do conceive, then a better paying job would indeed help us. Because the interview was located in a part of the city we were not very familiar of, we decided yesterday night that we would take the public transport. 

Yesterday night, I went online on our laptop, and located the location of the place on google maps and from google maps I was able to link it to the public transport bus route website and I happened to find the bus no. that would take us to the locality. This locality also has some malls nearby so I decided I would go along with my husband and browse through the local malls while my husband attended the interview. 

In order to minimize the cost of travel, we both bought day-passes when we boarded the bus and he dropped us to my husband's interview location. From there, K went ahead to attend his interview, while I roamed around the area in search of malls. It was a more pricey locality than the one I live in usually so I did not buy anything.. From the title of this blog, you should know that I am a person who has been brought up and is living the life of a Middle Class Indian. I doubt if  I would ever spend the money that the malls charge for clothes and shoes... Any how I amused myself keeping in mind that I did not really need anything, and K was done with his interview and he had aced it :).. There would be one more round, but they were promising a 15% hike from his current salary.. We headed back home in another bus (we did not have to pay for it as we had daily bus pass tickets) and I prepared lunch (cheaper than eating out). 

I made rice, dal and aloo sabzi... It was all in my pantry and we did not give in to the temptation of eating outside :) so I am glad that things worked out for us without spending any money on saturday apart from the daily bus passes which I can use incase I decide to go out in the evening as well :)

Total money Spent on Saturday : daily bus passes for two people : Rs. 180/-

..and a blog is born

So this is my first post of many... This blog is more or less an online diary to get a slice of my life... And hopefully by sharing the story of my life online, I will learn to lead a more conscious life than otherwise :) so here I start - to share what is hopefully the journey that will last many years to come.

- MCB.