Sunday 20 May 2012

Is this Prenatal Depression?

It is assumed that pregnancy is the most joyful time of your life. So no one really is ready to believe that she might be suffering from depression during pregnancy. It started with problems before conception, one round of fertility cycle etc. and finally conceiving last December 2011. The relief of having finally conceived followed slight irritation with family members that I believed did not cooperate well with my pregnancy. Fortunately, unfortunately my mom has been the brunt of my pregnancy mood swings more often than I could care to admit. I wish I could take back some of the things that I have told her but then I have been depressed and I get provoked easily and my mom is very good at provoking me.

In South Indian tradition, it is expected that the girl leaves her husband's home and settles in her mom's place during preparation for the child birth and a few months after delivery as well. I am not so sure I really want to go stay at mom's place. My mom and I have always been a mix of Oil and Water with respect to our views on most things in life - meaning we really do not get along and our views on anything do not match - but we make do because we are related and because she is my mom and I need to tolerate her. With my own pregnancy harmones raging high and my mood swings reaching alarming heights with both happiness and depression ; I seriously doubt if this is the right time to spend quality time with mom knowing very well that we cannot stand each other much!

I have not gone into a very traditional family after marriage- still certain customs are expected and that is how the Indian society works - so I am hoping I will try my best to not encourage unnecessary confrontations and cause hurt to my fragile relationship that exists between my mom and me.

- P.S. This post was written after my mom threatened to walk out of my house yesterday after having invited her for lunch and she arrived at 3 pm and I complained of her being late and that she had to spend so much time at the Jewellers'

Her response : "I don't want to be dragged for lunch to your house only to be humiliated - we can eat anywhere we want. Ever since your pregnancy has started, you have been a pain to me and you have caused me great sorrow!"

Me : Speechless.

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